This week’s Supernatural episode, “Live Free or Twihard,” opens in a bar where â€œEmily Fangâ€ (according to her card) is drinking and walking around. Man, she looks just like Bella from Twilightâ€¦imagine that! She runs into someone who looks just like Edward. They are talking about poems. He calls her Kristen. She gets a paper cut, and he runs off in dramatic fashion. But it’s okay because he comes back, also in dramatic fashion.
Their exchanges are rivaling the wooden and overly dramatic acting in Twilightâ€¦fantastic. His name is ROBERT! He was acting like Edward to lure her into a back alley where she is ambushed by another vamp.
Dean is talking to Lisa, saying he hopes to be home soon. Sam shows up with information on a half dozen missing girls. They show up at Kristen’s home, where her single father is raising her. Her room is FILLED WITH TWILIGHT-style memorabilia. â€œThese are not vampiresâ€¦these are douche-bags.â€ Thank you Dean!
HER PASSWORD IS PATTINSON. This is great. They read her back-and-forth emails with Robert the vamp and head to their meeting spot. Meanwhile, a dark SUV steals blood from a blood bank van.
Sam is sharing info with Grandpa Samuel, who recommends finding the vamp nest. Cut to the bar where Kristen met Robert. Sam and Dean follow separate suspects throughout the bar. Sam gets jumped, but decapitates his attacker instantly. Dean interrupts a vamp biting a girl, but finds out it is just a human wearing fake fangsâ€¦AND GLITTER! He claims he’s just dressing that way to get laid. Dean asks him if it worksâ€¦tremendous! The attacker from earlier shows up and jumps Dean. Sam shows upâ€¦and DOESN’T RESCUE DEAN as the vamp feeds him vampire blood. The vamp runs off and Sam DOESN’T PURSUE VERY HARD. Wow.
Dean’s senses are extremely heightened now, and he’s very sensitive to light. Dean wants Sam or Samuel to kill him before he turns, and he’s disturbed that Sam is too calm about this. Deans sees fangs starting to grow. Goes to check on Dean, and he’s gone. He’s WATCHING LISA SLEEPâ€¦nice connection to earlier reference. He tells Lisa thanks (in a good-bye) kind of way. He calls himself PATTINSON, due to feeling that he’s talking like a depressed vampire. His fangs are now fully grown in. He accidentally slams Ben into a wall.
Samuel shows up and scolds Sam for not keeping track of Dean, but Dean is in the room. He tells them he hasn’t fed off anyone yet. Dean prepares to let Samuel kill him, but Samuel says he is there to save him. He has info in his own grandfather’s journal that there is a recipe for turning him back. He has to get the blood of the vampire who turned him. If he feeds on one drop of human blood, he will turn. Samuel accuses Sam of knowing the cure, but not saying anything. Samuel thinks Sam let him turn, so that Dean could infiltrate the vampire world and find the ALPHA VAMP (that’s a term we’ve been hearing a bit this season). Sam denies knowing the cure or letting Dean get turned.
Dean finds Robert, but not the vamp, who we learn is named BORIS. Robert offers him blood, but Dean claims to have killed on the way over. Dean really wants that blood, though. We see Kristen typing bad poetry to lure in more recruits for Boris. Boris tells Dean that tween obsession with sexy vampire novels have helped to create a great way to lure in more and more vampires. Boris says it is all for his â€œfather.â€ Dean tries to stab Boris with dead human blood, but Boris catches him. Whispers start speaking, Boris looks up and falls to the ground. Everyone falls to the ground. Dean sees fantastic visions of what appears to be the father and twin vamps (nice reference to THE SHININGâ€¦and was that RICK WORTHY as the Alpha??? CREEEEEEPY!)
Dean wakes up to see Boris letting all the vampires out to kill him. Dean starts decapitating everyone in the room. Samuel and Sam show up and get blindsided by a vamp. They take care of it quickly. Boris tells Dean this is much bigger than either of them. Sam and Samuel find Dean, with his foot on top of Boris’ decapitated head.
Dean drinks the cure mix and vomits up some serious black tar. He gets visions again, and then wakes up. Sam asks Dean what he saw in the nest. Dean tells them about the alpha sending them psychic messages and building an army. Dean also realizes that vamps aren’t scared of hunters anymore. Dean tries to call Lisa but can’t get a hold of her. Dean then tells Sam he can always count on him, but says it in a very flat and angry way. Wow.
QUOTES OF THE NIGHT: â€œLook at this: he’s watching her sleepâ€¦how is that not rapey?â€ Dean, commenting on the cover of the imitation Twilight novel.
â€œAlrightâ€¦mmm-bop your way out of here.â€ Dean, to the human dressing as emo-vamp.
â€œNews flash, Mr. Wizard: Vampires pee.â€ Dean, after Sam asks him where he is headed in such a rush.
GORE OF THE NIGHT: While Dean had more decapitations, Sam’s vampire decapitation was the bloodiest.
MOMENTS OF THE NIGHT: Sam smirks while Dean is fed vampire blood, revealing he may be the Big Bad this season, not Samuel and the Campbells like I thought.
Boris (and Sam and Samuel) reveals there is an alpha-vampire. So now we know about two monster alphas this season, and we know all the monsters are acting strangely as well. Some great monster mythology-building so far in Season 6.
Season Six Episode 5
Written by Brett Matthews
Directed by Rod Hardy