Five guaranteed sure-thing sex tips for computer nerds

Why is that the cool guy – with his itinerant job, beaten-up Dodge, and permanent scowl – always gets the girl? Isn’t this against the natural order of things? Shouldn’t us computer types, with our well-paid jobs, Honda Accords and pleasant dispositions, be the ones who make it with the ladies? Aren’t we the ones who should be spreading our seed? After all, our seed is worth spreading!

Unfortunately, while it’s relatively easy to make the intellectual case that women should prefer nerds, it’s a lot more difficult in the real world. While I’m slightly ashamed to admit it, both of my sons had problems meeting girls when they were in their early and mid teens. Luckily for them, I was able to provide some fatherly advice that greatly improved their success with the opposite sex. Now, I’m providing that same advice to you.

1. Involve a second or third person in your erotic encounter.

Yes, this may seem like an obvious suggestion, but if I had a dollar for every time I found a pubic hair in the keyboard of my son’s computers during their early teenage years, I’d be a very rich man indeed. Some young fellows really enjoy self-stimulation with the help of all of that Internet porn, and what have you. They enjoy it so much, that they actually forget that it’s just practice for the real thing; it’s not the real thing itself. Yes, it does require more effort to actually go out and find a partner (or two), but I assure that the real thing is always better than the practice.

2. Be realistic about the girls you are interested in

For many computer nerds their experience of women comes from pornographic web sites, and girly magazines, and perhaps for this reason their ideal woman is someone like Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson (it was Samantha Fox in my day).First, such a woman probably won’t be interested in you – she’s more interested in the scowling loser I mentioned in the introduction. And second, do you really want to go out with a woman like this, with her short skirts, heaving cleavage, and vacant mind? Do you want every man looking at your girlfriend and wondering what she’s like in bed? No, of course you don’t. What you want is a pleasant and attractive woman, who probably like you, has a good job and is looking to hook up with that she wouldn’t be ashamed to introduce to her parents. Don’t pursue woman that wouldn’t touch you with a barge pole.

3. Start as a friend and work from there

Despite what you see in the movies, women won’t generally jump into the sack the first time they meet you. Sometimes, the best approach is to play it cool. If a girl likes you, you’ll soon start to get signals. This approach is often better for the you as well; it takes a lot of stress out of the situation. The important thing however, is that you shouldn’t keep the relationship at a friends level for too long. Always try to progress the relationship, from one stage to the next. It might take you three months to get to the first kiss, but that’s a lot better than not getting anywhere.

4. Girls don’t give a care about Linux/Vista etc

Don’t start a date by talking about how you just built a new PC and installed Linux. Girls don’t give a shit. The old trick about talking with women, is that you let them talk, and you listen. Truly, this is what women actually want from a discussion. When I was a young man I went on a date with a lady who spent the whole night talking about herself; I could barely get a word in. At the end of night, the woman asked me back to her apartment to continue the conversation. What conversation? It didn’t matter; the woman made excellent scrambled eggs for breakfast.

5. You don’t have to meet girls online

Well I know that in this age of MySpace, Bebo and web-based dating services that many people meet online. But to be honest, I tend to think that there’s too much competition out there in these environments, where everyone is just so cool. My advice is to make friends with women at your work, or school. As your confidence grows, you can also try approaching women in other environments. If you take the approach that you’re just making friends, you will find it a lot easier to initiate conversations with members of the opposite sex. Not every woman you make friends with is going to be girlfriend material, but it will certainly be good practice – and it’s nice to have friends.

Now I bet you thought this post was going to be full of cheap shots and sleaze. I hope what you’ve found instead is that being successful with women is all about being a decent human being who makes an effort to get to know a woman first.

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