The holiest pretzel ever created, or the worst type of practical joke? You decide. Either way the bids are rolling in and people are getting rich quick. This brief look at the infantile iconic pretzel-shaping industry is sure to make you scowl.
Not only is the supposed original Virgin Mary Pretzel available for bidding on eBay, there’s also a replica available at a steep discount.
Bidding for the original on eBay is already approaching $2 million and God only knows how much higher it will go.
Luckily for anyone with a tighter budget, there’s also a replica currently going for $5,000.
It looks like a microscopic pretzel shaping industry is forming on eBay because there is a variety of Virgin Mary pretzel merchandise, spinoffs, and even a domain name for sale. Take a look for yourself by searching for “virgin mary pretzel” on eBay.
Here’s a taste of the original Virgin Mary pretzel’s description:
You are bidding on the coveted Virgin Mary Pretzel. A member of the staff at The Donkey Show (101.5 KFLY and 106.3 KZZE) stumbled across this religious icon a little over two years ago in a Rold Gold pretzel snack bag. Of course we saw the financial implications of this relic, and decided to sell it to the highest bidder. This is a once in a lifetime auction, this pretzel is in mint condition, and could be yours if the price is right. If it was not for the Lord Jesus Christ smiling upon the pretzel factory on the day of this little pretzel’s conception, you would never have the opportunity to have it for your very own.
And here are a few snippets of the Q&A section:
Q: Would you consider this item a Holy Relic?
A: I consider it a pretzel that looks like the picture it sits next to. Don’t read into it.
Q: Thank you for confirming that eBay attracts the galactically stupid.
A: You betcha
Q: How many little nuggets of holy salt are visible on the blessed pretzel? Are you willing to sell the divine salt nuggets individually, or is it strictly a package deal?
A: Sorry this salty treat is far too divine for us to risk her life scraping the salt off…
It’s important to note that there are already 83 bids, below is a screenshot of the opening competition.
out of the 83 bids publicly visible on the auction page, most of them were placed by a few accounts, all named with a similar pattern. Specifically, v***e started the bidding, followed by 9***z, then i***t and r***u and so on . . .
Also, a search for “Virgin Mary pretzel” on eBay using the Completed Listings option brings up zero results.
Maybe this is the sort of crazy bidding war that happens when some of the most influential sellers on eBay band together to boycott the online auction king, or maybe it’s just a hoax.
In essence this is just an extension of the slapstick, homegrown humor popular on YouTube.com and Break.com.
Oh, and the Virgin Mary pretzel comes complete with “the original packaging, with ‘sell by’ date included!”