New Gmail Autopilot uses Artificial Intelligence

April 1, 2009

New Gmail Autopilot uses Artificial Intelligence If you’re tired of actually having to read and respond to all those emails piling up in your Inbox, Google has created just the solution for you. Gmail Autopilot uses the Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) to read and respond to emails in your own personal tone and style.

This new Gmail release means that you can save hours every week by having CADIE read and respond to your email for you. You can even adjust the response style in terms of capitalization, typos, brevity and the use of emoticons as shown in the figure below.

controls

This helps to ensure that CADIE is mimics your exact style of speech when formulating responses to your business partners and loved ones. Gmail Autopilot can even help you to overcome your deepest psychological issues automatically.

DrTheraPist

If you’re worried about your privacy or other complex issues like doctor-patient confidentiality when using Gmail autopilot, don’t! CADIE isn’t actually a person, but an artificial intelligence that’s sorting through your email to learn your darkest secrets.

You can even use CADIE to automatically reply to Gmail chat conversations as well. And don’t worry, even if your friends use Gmail Autopilot too, the two accounts can happily converse without causing an infinite loop or having a negative affect on the space-time continuum.

Some people get concerned about Artificial Intelligence forgetting who’s boss and plotting to take over the world. If you learn more about CADIE by visiting her homepage, you’ll learn that she really loves pandas. How could anyone that loves pandas so much want to take over the world?

CADIE also works with Google Chrome to create a more realistic browsing experience. Just print out your 3D glasses and click on the 3D icon in Chrome as shown below. Then you can let CADIE take you on three dimensional tour of the Web while she manages all your email and relationships.

Google may have discovered a whole new way of interacting with the Internet without all those interruptions of work and personal relationships. The only question left is why it took them so long?

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One Response to “New Gmail Autopilot uses Artificial Intelligence”

  1. ncaissie:

    april fools

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