Saudi Tourism

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The Religious Policeman is funny enough to do stand-up. You’re not reading him? You don’t know what you’re missing. He casts a glittering eye on his native Saudi Arabia, which presents a fat target for his sense of humor. When he’s not funny, he tells stories that can be outright tragic. But when he’s doing his schtick, it’s worth tuning in for a smile. Here’s a passage from his imaginary press conference announcing the (true) effort by S.A. to lure more tourists:

RP: So anyone can fly into Riyadh or Jeddah and just pick up a visa at the airport?

M: Men can, certainly, and married couples, as long as they can prove they’re married, so they’ll need to bring a Marriage Certificate, four copies translated into Arabic and certified by a lawyer. Not a Jewish lawyer, naturally. Women, on the other hand, will need to be sponsored by someone inside Saudi Arabia.

RP: But suppose they don’t know anyone in the country?

M: Well, we can’t help them there, can we? We’re not a Dating Agency.

RP: And what about couples who aren’t married, or gay couples?

M: Well as you know, we behead homosexuals, and stone adulterous or loose women to death, so it’s probably best if we don’t let them in in the first place, otherwise there’ll be no end of paperwork.

He’s also got a link to what you ladies will need to wear to those Red Sea beach resorts.

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