A founding Donklephant contributor calls the headquarters.
Me: Yes, hello sir, may I please speak with Mr. Hussein ________?
Hezbollah: One moment please.
(Cheesy 19th Century American Wild West saloon music played in my ear while I was on hold.)
Me: Yes, hello sir, is this Mr. Hussein ________?
Hezbollah: (Suspiciously) Yes.
Me: Hello sir, how are you doing?
Me: My name is Michael. I am an American journalist and I would like set up an appointment for an interview and a press tour if that would be possible.
Hezbollah: I cannot talk to you. I do not have permission to talk to the press.
Me: IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m sorry. Someone gave me this number and told me you were the person I needed to talk to.
Me: Can you please direct me to the right person?
Hezbollah: WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Read the rest…oh, please read the rest…