Michael Totten on Hezbollah

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A founding Donklephant contributor calls the headquarters.

Hilarity ensues.

Hezbollah: Alloe?

Me: Yes, hello sir, may I please speak with Mr. Hussein ________?

Hezbollah: One moment please.

(Click.)

(Cheesy 19th Century American Wild West saloon music played in my ear while I was on hold.)

Hezbollah: Alloe?

Me: Yes, hello sir, is this Mr. Hussein ________?

Hezbollah: (Suspiciously) Yes.

Me: Hello sir, how are you doing?

Hezbollah: Fine.

Me: My name is Michael. I am an American journalist and I would like set up an appointment for an interview and a press tour if that would be possible.

Hezbollah: I cannot talk to you. I do not have permission to talk to the press.

Me: I’m sorry. Someone gave me this number and told me you were the person I needed to talk to.

Hezbollah: (Silence.)

Me: Can you please direct me to the right person?

Hezbollah: WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Read the rest…oh, please read the rest…

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