Listen MO,

I know you like being the swing state of all swing states, but seriously…it’s time to decide who you’re giving your electoral votes to.

Yes, I know you’ve chosen the loser in the election only once in the past 100 years, but nobody’s perfect and it looks like you picked McCain instead of Obama this time. But hey, it was only by about 5,000 votes and both candidates were pretty good this time (let’s agree to disagree on Palin) so I can imagine why you had such a difficult time figuring this one out.

Regardless, you’ve had more than week now and it shouldn’t be that hard to round up all the absentee and provisional ballots.

Show me a result soon. Please.

Your friend and resident,
Justin Hussein Gardner

PS – Also, could you do something about the roads?

Politics Missouri, Seriously, We’ve Gotta Talk