Scott Weiland
At least as my top Christmas album of ever. I’ll admit it: I happen to like Christmas albums and there have been some classics. Even a few metal albums have tackled holiday tunes. I also happen to love this Miami Bass Christmas disc, if only for the booty-bouncing broad on the cover, with a Santa hat. That thing’s just absurd but hilarious, in concept and execution. Kind of like what I’m imagining Scott Weiland’s Christmas record will.

Yes…Scott Weiland is releasing a Christmas record. This is not an Onion headline. He’s actually doing it. May I suggest A Very Dilated Christmas With Scottie as an album title? I can hear it now: “Rudy the co-caine dealer/ Dealer/ One time had to break my nose/ Because once when I was Jonesin’/ I puked inside of his new Rolls.”

According to Scott, “it’ll be very traditional. You know, strings, upright bass, jazz horns, piano, and guitar.” And a reggae-infused version of “The Little Drummer Boy.” “I’m sort of picking various versions of these songs, because they’ve been covered so many times, but my favorite versions — with a little twist,” Scott explains.

Man. I can not wait for this. Can’t. What balls this guy has, huh? A Christmas record, really? I doubt the world’s ready for that. Christmas records are what you do when your creativity’s dried up.

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