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Kicking Off the Fall TV Season


The Fall TV season officially kicked off this week with the CW premiering new seasons (cycles?) of America’s Next Top Model and The Vampire Diaries, as well as new shows Hellcats and Nikita.  Let’s fire up the DVR and kick off the season with the top reasons we should be pumped for September TV!

7. What Cop Show Is This?: The Drinking Game– This September has the premieres of six, count ‘em SIX, new cop shows.  Here are the rules: the game is played between 9 pm and 11 pm, Sunday through Thursday on the major networks.  You randomly select a channel.  If it’s a cop show, the first person to correctly identify the title gets to make someone else drink.  If it’s a lawyer or doctor show, everybody drinks.  If it’s a serialized drama with actual character arcs, everyone does a shot.  If you play, here’s a hint: try to determine which city and/or state the cop show is set.  That will give you half of the title about 75% of the time.

6. Heroes: Take Two– TV’s taking another stab at super-powers after the last one so memorably held on for four brutalizing seasons.  No Ordinary Family premieres on ABC on September 28th, and despite middling buzz I hope it can establish itself; after all the Fantastic Four comic has been going since 1961.  There are stories to be told.  Also, it’ll be fun to see if Michael Chiklis’ super-power is to make it believable that he’s married to Julie Benz.

5. The End of Summer Reality Shows– I don’t even watch Big Brother, Dating in the Dark or Bachelor Pad, and the fact that they’re popular makes me feel dirty; the kind of dirty that doesn’t wash away with soap and water.  Full Silkwood, please.

4. Placing bets on what new show will get the axe first– This is definitely a horse race between Outsourced on NBC (which seems to consist entirely of jokes about Indians worshipping cows and gastric issues due to curry) and Hellcats (the one that has the posters where the lead actress looks like she’s thinking “Who farted?  It was totally Tisdale!”).  Smart money’s on Hellcats; it premiered first.

3. Mad Men’s Season Finale– I know it’s sad when it’s over, but the last episode of each season tends to be amazing.  Not sure if we can legitimately hope for the heights of last season’s “Shut the Door, Have a Seat,” but I’ve learned to believe in the show’s writers.  Personally, I’m hoping Joan hits someone in the head with a vase again and Peggy forces Stan Rizzo to lick her shoes while she writes copy in the nude.

2. It’s your second chance to watch Cougar Town– Yes, it’s the worst show title since Cashmere Mafia.  That being said, it’s hilarious and ABC has a history of canceling shows I love (RIP Ugly Betty, Eli Stone, Samantha Who?, Better Off Ted and Pushing Daisies).   This show is on right after the Emmy-winning Modern Family and deserves more attention than it gets.  Also, it says what everyone is thinking.

1.  Jane Lynch and the Return of Sue Sylvester– Love Glee or hate Glee, no one can deny that Lynch is gut-bustingly funny on the show.  While the plot will spin wildly out of control into complete nonsense, all you really need is Lynch inciting her Cheerios to commit seppuku with a dull letter opener or telling Matthew Morrison that his chin looks like a baby’s backside and the whole 45 minutes is worth it.  Also, she’s hosting SNL on October 9th.  That’s a double shot of Lynch that week!