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Five Predictions for the Mad Men Finale


Oh who am I kidding? This show is so unpredictable and Mathew Weiner is not one to give the audience what they expect, much less what they want. If even one of these scenarios happen I’ll consider it a miracle, but hey, its still fun to speculate. Here are my “predictions” for the Mad Men finale

#1: Joan Will Reveal She Is Still Pregnant

We all think that Joan is still pregnant, right? I hope so because she could totally get away with this. She’s was trying to get pregnant with Greg and they did sleep together the day he left for basic training. Lets say Roger got her pregnant 3 weeks later, is Greg really gonna figure it out? He might be a doctor, but he’s kind of a shitty one.

#2: Don Will Break Up (or blow it) With Dr. Faye

This one’s a no-brainer. As soon as Don started cleaning himself up it was only a matter of time before he turned back into the matinee idol version of himself that women can’t resist and he’s no good at being a one-woman man.

#3: Ken Will Continue Being The Most Useless Character On The Show

Seriously, why did they even bother to bring Ken back if all he’s going to do is be a less interesting version of Pete. I like Aaron Stanton’s performance in Seasons 1 & 2 when he was a mix of golly-gee farm boy and office lothario, but ever since then he’s been pretty much relegated to being a background character that smokes A LOT. (For the record, Harry Crane is also useless but at least he’s a good comic foil).  Let’s hope they give Ken something to do in Season 5.

#4: Ted Chaough Will Get His Comeuppance

This is actually not really likely but, oh, how I want something terrible to happen to him! Shouldn’t his company be bankrupt after Don’s scheming in “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword”? I’d like to see the fall out from that please.

#5: Sally Draper Will Do Something Drastic

Ever since the end of “The Beautiful Girls” when Sally cries in Megan’s arms and tells her everything’s not going to be okay, I’ve had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that Sally might try to kill herself. I know what you’re thinking, that it’s too dark and horrible. Surely even Mad Men wouldn’t go to the depths of despair by having a child attempt suicide… but don’t be so sure. The weakest ones, those least able to defend themselves, tend to get picked off on this show consider the fates of Sal, Anna, Adam Whitman. Mad Men is merciless to the most tenderhearted characters – consider how Lane has devolved from the confident (revenge seeking) man in last season’s finale to the frightened, silent shell of a man he’s become in the last 12 episodes.

Bonus Prediction

The episode is named “Tomorrowland” so the whole thing could take place while the cast waits in line at Space Mountain

  • Faye brings her uncles Knuckle Sandwich Tony and Joey Two Shivs
  • Lane will fret about the cost of their tickets
  • Megan will apologize for how long the line is
  • Peggy will suggestively eat cotton candy and accidentally turn Stan on
  • Pete’s nose will bleed as soon as he sees how fast the ride is
  • Ken will smoke an entire pack and talk about how he’s from Vermont
  • Harry will say something anti-Semitic and get free lifetime passes to Disneyland
  • Joan’s boobs won’t fit beneath the ride’s safety bar
  • Roger inexplicably shows up in black face
  • Don will get slapped around by Snow White and Sleeping Beauty in the back of the monorail