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DC Film Beat: Special Thanksgiving 2010 Edition!

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For this week’s column, A Very Special Thanksgiving Holiday Edition, I’m going to be your cinematic sommelier, directing you towards the movies in theaters that will best compliment your Thanksgiving-day festivities.

Let’s hope I don’t make the same mistake I did last year, pairing a traditional Thanksgiving ceremony, one filled with love and peace and goodwill towards men, alongside the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road.  Fingers crossed.

What Movie Should I See?

Today’s Special, a dramedy about an Indian-American chef who rediscovers his heritage after he is forced to run his family’s restaurant.

Where’s It Playing?

-Bethesda Row.  Click HERE for more screening details.

Thanksgiving Spirit in a Nutshell?

-Let’s see.  Main character learns the value of appreciating one’s cultural history?  Big ten-four there.

Best Thanksgiving Food to Sneak into the Theater?

-Take your pick: candied yams or a spiced pumpkin pie.

What Movie Should I See?

The Wizard of Oz.  I shouldn’t have to provide a plot summary for this one, and you shouldn’t question why you should see it.

Where’s It Playing?

-The AFI Silver.  Go HERE for tickets and showtimes.

Thanksgiving Spirit in a Nutshell?

-Dorothy learns that there really is no place like home.  Also, the poppy scene acts as a potent reminder of the dangers of Tryptophan O.D.’ing.

Best Thanksgiving Food to Sneak into the Theater?

-Stuffing, to be eaten when the birds pull out the Scarecrow’s stuffing.

What Movie Should I See?

127 Hours, the true story of Aron Ralston’s life-and-death struggle while trapped in Canyonlands National Park.

Where’s It Playing?

-E Street Theater.  Follow the bouncing ball HERE for more information.

Thanksgiving Spirit in a Nutshell?

-Surprisingly, it’s loaded with holiday cheer.  Aron’s ordeal teaches us how precious family and friends are, and that no matter how tough things may get, there’s always hope that James Franco will want to play you in the movie version of your life.

Best Thanksgiving Food to Sneak into the Theater?

-Four turkey legs, three pounds of stuffing, a cooler full of cranberry sauce, and two Camelbacks full of water.  That way, you’ve got enough provisions to mock on-screen Aron as he slowly dies of starvation and dehydration.

What Movie Should I See?

Burlesque.  You know how there’s always one awful element to mar the perfection of a great Thanksgiving meal?  This movie is your alcoholic Uncle Harold.

Where’s It Playing?

-Unfortunately, it’s playing everywhere, so I’ll toss up the Regal Gallery Place on Seventh Street as a viable option.  Click HERE if you hate joy.

Thanksgiving Spirit in a Nutshell?

-I’m guessing Christina Aguilera’s character learns about honesty and hard work, or something.  Maybe Cher gives a clinic on do-it-yourself plastic surgery, I don’t know.  Regardless, this film proves that you do have the strength to sleep through 100 minutes of ADD-edited sonic overload.

Best Thanksgiving Food to Sneak into the Theater?

-Nyquil and Valium.

You’ve got the tools.  You have all the knowledge.  Now, choose wisely, and Happy Turkey Day.

Break In Case of Tryptophan-Related Stupor:  Too tired/drunk/bloated to go out to a movie?  Easy fix for you.  Follow these instructions to the letter:

  1. Turn on the TV.
  2. Flip channels until you come across Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (it will be playing on at least eighteen channels).
  3. Sit back and bask in the glory that is Steve Martin’s irascible curmudgeon learning to love John Candy’s insufferable liveforce.