Stocking Stuffers: Quirky Books to Raise an Eyebrow

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It’s been said before, but sometimes it just seems like you can write a book about anything and somebody’ll will read it. Well, these books, which might just be right, as gag or for real, prove that saying, but what the heck, they may just work for the stockings that need stuffing in your life.

For once, I’ll lead with winner and my personal favorite:

1. Gangsta Rap Coloring Book by Anthony “Aye Jaye” Morano

The title, really, says it all. Maybe it’s dark humor? Maybe it’s the hoorah for two pairs of words that should really have never come to life? For the new generation, of robot pop music and techno beats. For the wanksta that y’all hang wid in ur life.

Next, it’ll be Italian Mafia Coloring Book.

10. Toilet Paper Origami by Linda Wright

Not even the diamond hotels go so far! What does such delicate artwork inspire? We should hope less toilet paper use… if you’re savant about going green… Even better! – why read a newspaper, when you can twiddle with the paper in the meanwhile. Outside of the bathroom, you could put the skills to good use, impressing children and folding dinner napkins… if you have either.

9. Make Your Own Sex Toys by Matt Pagett

The numbers range wildly, but as the statistics drops go, men think about sex every… two minutes? Well, we’ve all heard it different ways. So, if you would like to take a little more control to the bedroom, add some spice to the night life, harness your inner MacGuyver, or intend to leave for Alaska for a year, this is the book for you.

8. Outwitting Squirrels by Bill Adler

They say the pig is intelligent. From campfire stories of mischievous antics to roadside observances, these bushy-tailed, acorn-loving creatures would prove otherwise. Time to break out that extra 90% of the brain and do some mental booty-whooping.

7. Help! A Bear is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen

The handy survival guide for all the city slickers. When roll over and play dead just doesn’t work.

6. 101 More Uses for a Dead Cat by Simon Bond

Because getting beyond five is a feat worth noting.

5. 50 Sad Chairs by Bill Keaggy

Does your furniture speak to you? What if he (or she) was sad and you didn’t know? Happily, Bill Keaggy has provided a book of 50 chairs that shall unfortunately always be in a continued state of depression. Avoid at all costs or add for ambience? Up to you.

4. Dead Pet: Send Your Little Buddy Off In Style by Andrew Kirk & Jane Moseley

We return again to the sad, unfortunate, but inevitable demise of domestic animals. Our pets! If humans like a little bang to their ending rather than a fizzle or as is the fate of many furry, scaly, or what-have-you friends of the young, a burial in the backyard or down the toilet, then it’s time to give that family member a truly special send-off. Kirk and Moseley have some ideas.

3. 50 Ways to use feminine hygiene products in a MANLY MANNER (for the self-assured male) by B. Koz

Know the guy who went to see Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s new movie Faster? Maybe he also recites the bro code and has bits of bromance floating out? For the manly men in your life.

2. Exercises for Gentleman: 50 Exercises to do with your suit on by Alfred B. Olsen

How do those gentleman manage to stay so fit underneath that dashing suit? Now you can find out. A must in every gentleman’s collection: conducts of manner, codes of chivalry, complexities of the bow tie, and of course, exercise to stay toned. How else do you expect a gentleman to sweep a lady off her feet?

On a more practical level, Legally Blonde said it well: Exercise makes endorphins. Endorphins make you happy, and happy people… well, are happy!

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