Gucci Mane Is Metal, It Seems
Well, he must be because the Headbanger’s Blog — which just beat Noisetwink as the Web’s least relevant metal blog — ran a piece on the rapper recently. They ran a small story about Gucci going to the slammer, and quoted the poet from a song they’ve also got a link to: “Bitch don’t pity me/ I look like Mr. T/ I feel like Soulja Slim/ But I think I’m Eazy-E.” Sheer poetry.
Of course, Gucci Mane isn’t fucking metal; clearly, someone muffed up here, and never fixed it. But no one noticed because no one has paid attention to the Headbanger’s Blog (part of MTV’s blog network) in fucking years.
I only checked out the blog because I read somewhere that “Headbangers Ball,” MTV’s once-awesome metal program, would be returning December 18 with Sirius XM’s Jose Mangin hosting.
You know, I think “Headbangers” should have TWO hosts: Jose and a little someone named…ME!!! How about it, MTV programmers…co-hosts? I could be the quiet man to Jose’s amped-up persona; the Teller to his Penn. Together, we’d balance each other out, and achieve the same zen-like excitement level that legendary host Riki Rachtman displayed all those years ago.
Which leads me to this next question: What’s Riki up to? Why can’t he host?
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