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The Holiday Gift That Sports Celebrity Will NOT Be Getting

What type of holiday gift does your favorite sports celebrity deserve?

*In the season of gift-gifting and charity, it is time to reflect on the presents that our-beloved athletes and sports celebrities will NOT be getting this holiday season………

Cam Newton — The “Father Knows Best” DVD Collection

Cecil Newton— Mississippi State panhandler’s cup

O.J. Simpson — speaking engagement at the Vegas Sports Memorabilia & Cutlery Show

Usain Bolt — an hour glass

Norv Turner— Oil of Olay

Pete Rose — time share in Cooperstown

Tom Cable — head gear for spouses & assistant coaches

Don King — Hair Club for Men

Ray Lewis — tinted limo windows

Terry Bradshaw — Head and Shoulders

Frank Gifford — The NY Times Bestseller “Bad Things Happen In Threes

Carmello Anthony — a Denver realtor

Randy Moss — homeowner’s insurance

Muhammad Ali—tap dance shoes

Brett Favre—Wrangler button-fly padlock

Deanna Favre—“The Autobiography of Lorena Bobbit

Carl Lewissinging lessons with Roseanne Barr
Cliff Lee—Grand Marshall invite to “The Taste of Dallas”

Daniel Snyder—The “Richie Rich” DVD Collection

John Daly—Gift Certificate to Mens’ Wearhouse

Kobe Bryant—“Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” Soundtrack

Lane Kiffin—Rocky Top casserole bowl

Mike Tyson—

Yao Ming— platform shoes

Evander Holyfield—beef jerky

Roger Clemens— “Buns of Steel” DVD

Michael Vick—pit bull protein bars

Dan Marino—a jewelry box

Brian Kelly—a wind vane

Ben Roethlisberger—transparent bathroom stalls

Kyle Brotzman—beef shank

Plaxico Burress—bulletproof boxers

LeBron James — skydiving lessons from The Greater Cleveland Flight School

Delonte West — a motorcycle gun rack

Albert Haynesworth—tub of goo

Brian Cashman—an empty bag

Mike Shanahan—“The Autobiography of Adolf Hitler

Minnesota Vikings fans —a skylight in TCF Bank Stadium

Tony Romo—Super Bowl XLV tickets

Jerry Jones — Guest Appearance, “Nip & Tuck”

Sal Alosi — model of “The Great Wall of China”

Cortland Finnegan—Shaggy Doo Bobblehead

DeSean Jackson—“I’m Gonna Knock You Out” Soundtrack
Nolan Ryan — 2011 Texas Ranger Playoff Tickets

Rex Ryan — Vegan Swimsuit Calendar

Drew Stanton—“So You Think You Can Dance” DVD Collection

Carlos RogersMonty Pyton’s “The Black Knight” Poster

Tony Kornheiser/Brad Childress—“Separated At Birth, Volume XII

Tarvaris Jackson—Arena Football jersey

Jim Tressel—a cardigan

Barry Bonds—urine specimen cup

Urban Meyer—heart defibrillator

Michael Strahan—Pizza Hut toothpick endorsement

Chris Bosh—The “Best of RuPaul” DVD Collection

Tiger Woods—Inflatable fire hydrants

Elin Woods—The Nine-Iron Workout

Lynn Swann—King Size Set of Governor’s Satin Sheets

JaMarcus Russell
—cough syrup

Graham Gano—“Wide Right: The Florida State Seminoles Story

Josh McDaniels—videography lessons from Bill Belichick

Kyle Shanahan—“The Beginner’s Guide to Nepotism

Micheal Phelps
—bong instructions

Joe Paterno—The Paul “Bear’ Bryant Retirement Kit

Al Golden—University of Miami army fatigues (circa 1986)

Reggie Bush—Heisman Trophy tattoo offer from LA Ink

Greg Oden—lifesize poster of Sam Bowie

Jenn Sterger—the role of “Ho-Ho-Hoe” in the upcoming “Santa Claws” sequel

Albert Pujlos—“Who Wants To Be A Billionaire?: The 2011 Free Agents Handbook

Jason Werth/Edge—“Separated At Birth, Volume XIII”

TCU Football—“Road to The BCS Championship: The State University of New Jersey

Tom Brady—The 30 Supermodels in 30 Days Fatherhood Workout Program

Gary Williams—waterproof blazers

Dave Meggett/Lawrence Taylor—The Sing Sing Song Book, featuring the hit, “16 Will Get You 30 Everytime

Donovan McNabb—Rex Grossman’s clipboard

Gilbert Arenas—Magic Kingdom magnums

Terrelle Pryor—Fleur de Les butt tattoo with the caption: “Kick Here

Rex Ryan—bunny slippers

*Feel free to add to the list in the comment section below. Hope that you get the holiday gift that you DO want and deserve!