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Eddie Van Halen Watches Ex-Wife Get Hitched; So Does Son

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Wolfgang's MILF of a mom
And sadly, in this world of celebrity gossip-driven media, this somehow passes for news. Of course Eddie Van Halen and his son — Wolfgang, the 19-year-old bassist of Van Halen — would attend Valerie Bertinelli’s wedding. It is the class thing to do.

Look, she’s been seeing this dude who is now her hubby for more than seven years. His name’s Tom Vitale and he’s a financial planner. According to People.com, Tom and Val got hitched January 1 at the couple’s digs in Malibu. Obviously, as a family, this is something that’s been a long time coming, and Eddie — like a good dad — is obviously going to go to support his son and show him all is good. They’re mature adults, for crying out loud. They know they’ve got to keep the vibe neutral, you dig?

I guess its a headline and it is news insomuch as Valerie Bertinelli got married to some Italian dude, but the fact that some people…scratch that, people on some sites are making a big deal out of Eddie attending his ex-wife’s wedding and calling it weird seems a little idiotic. And Valerie was there when Eddie remarried. Jeepers…talk about fucking a mole hill in the ass, Larry.

In 2009, when Eddie got married, Wolfgang was the best man and his brother, who looks like he’s a Simpsons character, officiated the nondenominational ceremony. Turns out dude is an ordained minister. Phat! By the way, you think Wolfie hates the fact that his parents named him something so whack? You think he ever wishes he could just be Billy Van Halen?