The Red Rocker

The Red Rocker
Author Sammy Hagar must be fucking crazy. The dude claims he’s been abducted by aliens and doesn’t feel bad about peddling vodka, even after seeing Eddie Van Halen struggle with alcoholism. Now, he’s telling PopEater that his reunion with the band — said to be mixing their new record, which they’ve been working on with David Lee Roth — is “inevitable.”

Says Sammy: “I’m sure that it’s inevitable, but not right now. Right now it’s probably on a scale of one to hundred, minus seven. Of course no one’s going to like somebody putting their stuff in the street, but I didn’t make up anything. It’s all true, and it’s exactly what happened and that story has never been told. I’m walking down the street and fans are coming up into me going, ‘Hey man, when are you and Eddie going to get back together? What’s the problem over there?’ And I gotta tell them that it’s just not possible right now.”

Sammy was asked how he survived Van Halen after nine tumultuous years. “I’m a romantic and [an] optimist, so I thought, ‘Oh it’s just a little thing my boy’s going through and everything will be good,’ but it never changed. But we had nine years of the greatest fun ever, so that carries a long way,” said the Red Rocker.

There’s a better chance that aliens will actually invade the planet and turn us into dildos or pets. Sammy’s days with Van Halen are done, as far as I’m concerned. Not that I don’t love Hagar — I just don’t see a reunion happening.

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