Every Time I Die
I wonder if they’ll fabricate a bunch of fake Tweets to promote the new record, once it’s time to release the fucker.

According to small-peened Every Time I Die guitarist Andy Williams, work has commenced on the next Every Time I Die record. For some reason, this band just bored me now. I was into them like six years ago, but now, I’m just fucking bored with them and their whole “we’re a metal band with a sense of humor” schtick. Not sure why every other site sucks their proverbial dick, but, they do. And you know who you are.

“New ETID riffs are crushing,” Williams Tweeted. “So stoked right now. I’m on another level right now. Cool.”

I feel bad for this guy. He’s a giant, with the penis of a 10-year-old. I mean, his cock is barely there. It looks like an egg in a nest, so to speak. I wonder if this dude’s ever pissed on his own balls. I mean, it’s really that small.

Entertainment Every Time I Die Working On New Material