An image from the Soilwork comic
Why is this weird to me? Why do I feel like there are a dozen bands more deserving of a comic book? Don’t get me wrong — I loves me some Soilwork. But come on — this is only slightly cooler than all those lame fucking Coheed comics. Slightly…especially since it basically sounds like a modern take on “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” which was a rip-off of “The Seven Samurai.”

Here’s the synopsis for “Soilwork: An Evil Upon Us,” which is available this week at Boston Comic Con.

“Foreign stars would herald the Devil’s arrival. So speak the Carpathian ancients, as a second moon rises and the galaxies align in a strange night sky. But their warnings have gone unheeded, and before the night is through an evil from beyond our world will sweep through the darkened mountains of Transylvania. The last line of defense for the humble people of these hills is a band of six travelers who are far from home. They are the members of Soilwork — and they’re in for a hell of a night.”

I’m sorry but if the shit hits the fan, the last six people I wanna see showing up at my front door are going to be dudes from a metal band. Sorry — it’s going to be six ladies who satisfy my every carnal desire as the world crumbles and burns around us…or whatever. THAT’S a comic book, people.

And if — for someone reason — six dudes from a metal band showed up, I wouldn’t want them to be the dudes from Soilwork. That singer’s tall and all but I don’t sense he could protect me, let alone a town full of people or humanity or whatever.

“Soilwork: An Evil Upon Us” debuts at Boston Comic Con, April 30 through May 1.

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