Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a charity golf tournament for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. At the tournament, comedian Jerry Seinfeld was the big draw for amateur golfers and advance tickets. Jerry backs out and you replace him with Poison’s Bret Michaels. What do you do? What DO YOU DO?
If you’re a Seinfeld fan who signed up for the tournament or have tickets for the event, you say, “Oh fuck,” and consider making alternate plans and going to StubHub. If you’re not a Seinfeld fan, you won’t give a damn. Either way, if you end up going, make sure you bring plenty of hand sanitizer. You have no idea where Bret’s hands have been!
Why’d Seinfeld drop out of the September 13 benefit? Because of politics. His manger said the comic has become “increasingly uncomfortable” with Trump’s recent questioning of President Obama’s citizenship so he “has respectfully withdrawn from the event.”
In other words, Fuck you, Donnie.
Bret had this to say about the gig, which he will likely get paid for: “Donald Trump and his family have been wonderful to me, and St Jude’s Children’s Hospital is one of my favorite charities, so I’m honored to have been asked by Eric and the rest of the Trump family to be a part of this event and help raise money for such an admirable cause.
“We should never allow the spirit of generosity to be overshadowed by divisive political beliefs — and when it comes to saving the life of a child, there is absolutely no room for political rhetoric and red tape,” says BRET FUCKING MICHAELS, of all people. What fucking nerve! “Regardless of political views, the only thing that should matter is the lives of these children and their families, so I’m eager to offer my assistance to St Jude’s Children’s Hospital in any way that I can.”