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Revolver Golden Gods Awards: And The Losers Were…

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Avenged Sevenfold
I live in New York, so I wasn’t able to hit the Revolver Golden Gods Awards this year. Not that I’ve ever been to that lame-ass awards show, contrived for the sole purpose of locking in advertisers and securing relationships…at the end of the proverbial day.

The third annual Revolver Golden Gods Awards went down Wednesday night at Club Nokia in downtown Los Angeles and air May 28; Revolver will release a special Golden Gods issue of the magazine on May 24.

Who won? In my opinion, no one. But here’s is a rundown of who took home a Golden God.

Alice Cooper was honored with the Golden God Award, while the whole of Motley Crue were handed the Ronnie James Dio Lifetime Achievement Award.

Of course, Honorary Headbanger went to William Shatner while the Best Guitarists Award went to Avenged Sevenfold’s Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance.

The unemployed Mike Portnoy was named Best Drummer for his work for Avenged Sevenfold, while Black Veil Brides won Best New Band. Avenged’s M. Shadows won the Best Vocalist Award, proving this whole ceremony’s a mockery. Rammstein were named Best Live Band with Murderdolls taking home the Comeback of the Year Award. Avenged Sevenfold won the Album of the Year, and I want to vomit.

What a crock!