It's been a rough couple of years for record stores, especially in the DC area. Luckily, the international event known as Record Store Day is giving audiophiles good reason to get off the internet and drop their bucks at the handful brick and mortar shops still standing. Here's where to get in on the action action once RSD rolls around again this April 17th.

All Shall Perish
OK, so, I tend to do this. I read into shit when I shouldn’t. As a hard news reporter, that’s a valuable asset to have. As a metal blogger? Not so much. So maybe there’s nothing even remotely foretelling about this new All Shall Perish album title. I’m sure the band will be around forever.

All Shall Perish have named their new album This Is Where It Ends; the band’s fourth record will be in stores July 26 through Nuclear Blast. It just made me think that maybe the band were planning on splitting up after touring on this next LP…but that’s probably not true at all.

Most of the album was recorded and mixed once again at Castle Ultimate Studios in Oakland with producer Zack Ohren and the band is previewing a new song called “Divine Illusion” over on Facebook.

“This is just a small taste of what is coming with the new record. We definitely brought back the brutality with this one and the breakdowns are gonna leave panties wet and asses sore… and you begging for more!”

Wait. Panties wet? No problem with that statement. There’s nothing better than a wet pussy on a hot day to satiate your thirsts. But sore asses? Not sure I can condone that, especially if you intend on making my ass sore.

That said, I like anal porn as much as the next guy — but most of the time, I feel bad about throwing it in that choco-licious crevice…especially when there’s a perfectly delicious box just a taint away…mere millimeters. It’s gotta hurt. I dropped a deuce the other day that hurt so bad, I had to punch the wall.

Entertainment I’m Overanalyzing The New All Shall Perish Album’s Title