So, I’m exhausted. If I had to break my life down into a pie graph, an 80 percent chunk would be devoted to work. I have a day job, folks. It keeps me extremely busy. When I’m not at the job, I’m on my laptop, banging out posts for you. But as I write this, I struggle to keep my eyes open after not sleeping in my own bed. That’s right, kids — your old pal Chris is getting some lady attention.

Finally. Fuck, anyways…the whole point of that intro was to point out that I was destroyed this morning, until I found out Maynard James Keenan discussed the new Tool album in a new interview. That actually helped wake me up a bit. Like a good cup of coffee. Or a kicked to the groin. I was once woken up by an errant knee that did a Superfly Snuka into my ballbag. Fucking sucked.

“We’re just always writing and it’s just progressing as it progresses,” Maynard Keenan said in an interview quoted on Blabbermouth. “We normally don’t say anything about anything until it’s actually happening, because there’s a lot of people online that apparently can’t read very well. I put an April Fool’s notice up there for the album release, and it was this year, 2011, I said, ‘New Tool album, such-and-such a date, 2009, and everybody ran around like, ‘Oh, really, the new Tool –?’ God, you guys are dumb. I swear to God. You’ve got to read. Please, read.”

Ouch. Now, my feelings are kinda hurt. That’s harsh, Maynard. I don’t think I’m dumb. Easily amused? Yes. But not dumb. You didn’t have to say we were dumb, dude. Cold blooded, bra.

Home Entertainment Tool’s Next Album “Progressing,” Says Maynard