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Five Finger Death Punch Have Kimmel Appearance Delayed; Zoltan’s Girlfriend Goes Wild

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Zoltan Bathory
Bummer, dude.

Five Finger Death Punch’s performance on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” show, which was originally scheduled to be taped October 12 for an October 26 broadcast, has been postponed until next year.

Fuck. Get out the old White-Out…it’s time to fix your calendar, kids.

Citing “current preproduction,” Five Finger Fuck Punch — which is what I call that band, but also what I call it when I grab a roll of quarters and pound a hoe during a fierce BJ — “are currently in their rehearsal studio working tirelessly to create the biggest stage show the band has ever done for their headlining Share The Welt tour,” the band says in a statement.

In related news, Zoltan Bathory’s girlfriend or ex-girlfriend — at this point, no one knows for sure — went on a recent rant on Facebook, implying that maybe Zoltan gave in to some groupie gash.

“I wish I could find one rockstar that doesn’t cheat!!!,” she wrote in Facebook.

I know you don’t care — I just think that’s funny. Any of you hot chicks out there with douche bag, rock star boyfriends who think they go out on the road for six months and survive with old fashioned masturbation alone, think again. They at the very least touch titties and ass, and getting humjobs. And that…is the word of the Chris.