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Children Of Bodom, Alestorm Added To 70,000 Tons Of Metal

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I hear there's a gloryhole somewhere on the cruise
So, I’m trying to get a ticket for this 70,000 Tons of Metal Cruise because I think it would be fun to blog from the fucking cruise. My whole purpose would be covering the performances, but also the scene. The free blowjobs I imagine are given out before dinner on the sun deck, the fights (some of which may involve me), and the rest of the debauchery.

But they’re not making it easy. There is still a hefty fee, and basically, you have to write about every band who signs up for the cruise, leading up to the cruise.

Not sure I enjoy going through the motions like that. I’d rather just go visit Jason Suecof and crash at his place for a week.

Anyways, Children of Bodom and Alestorm have been added to the lineup for the 70,000 Tons of Metal Cruise.

The bill already boasts Atheist, Cannibal Corpse, Coroner, Dark Funeral, God Dethroned, Hammerfall, Kamelot, My Dying Bride, Overkill, Pentagram, Pestilence, Suffocation, Therion, and Whiplash.

I wanna go, but at the same time, I hate jumping through hoops.