We shit on it. Or into it.

That’s exactly what he should have told ThinkFlash after saying “Music is like water,” but he didn’t. This is what he said: “If it flows, it stays fresh; if it stays in one spot, it gets stagnant.”

Hmmm. I wonder if what Kirk Hammett told ThinkFlash — who chatted with Metallica’s guitarist prior to the band’s gig in the United Arab Emirates on October 25 — was a reference to Lulu, the new album from Metallouca (the collaboration no one was wanting nor waiting for), which is literally the musical equivalent of eating a girl’s box…after some other dude was there minutes before you — and threw up his McRib.

Recently, a reader raised an interesting point on Facebook. Why has no major media outlet reported on the universal trashing of this musical collaboration: Metallica and Lou Reed? Why?!?

The album is now in stores. It is fucking awful. I’d rather lean on an electric fence — in the rain — than ever have to listen to Lulu again.

“I think it’s important for us to just do different things, just to keep the music alive and moving,” Kirk said. “And that’s pretty much been our philosophy since the beginning.”

Doing things different is what has hurt you and alienated some of your most ardent fans, you fuck. Man, why is it that the members of Metallica are the only ones who don’t see that Metallica’s made some really bad moves in the last — I don’t know — 15 years? Are they just in denial, or deluded?

Entertainment Metallica’s Hammett: “Music Is Like Water”