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Oh Snap! Cryptopsy Bassist Quits

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Cryptopsy bassist Youri Raymond has thrown in the towel. He’s fucking done, folks.

“I am officially announcing my departure of the band Cryptopsy,” Youri says in a statement. “At this time, we feel it’s in the best interest of both the band and I to part ways.”

Whoa. Mutual decision, huh? Those never happen.

“As a musician, moving from guitar to bass was a great challenge, but honestly, I never really felt comfortable in that position and my motivation in general was stagnating,” Raymond continues.

“I’m now moving forward and will release an album in 2012 on guitar/lead vocals with my band, Unhuman, and I hope Jon, Matt, Chris, Flo and the new guy who will fill in in the bass spot the very best with the upcoming album and what might be the ‘real’ Cryptopsy coming back!,” his statement concludes.

So that happened. Now, let the weekend begin. Buttfuck U.S.A., baby — WHOA!!!!!!!!!

By the way, that image of Kate Upton came from the movie trailer for the upcoming “Three Stooges” movie. Kate, I guess, plays a nun. That’s wrong on all kinds of levels, especially for me, having gone to Catholic school against my will for four years.

I’d still plow her sex fields, though.

And by the way, I can’t say I blame dude for leaving the band. Cryptopsy’s been sucking for years now.