Dez Fafara
I’m just going to say this right now, and get it out in the open, in case my next fiancee happens to be reading this site right now. I am just down to fuck. I don’t wanna jump into anything serious. I am just a young, clinically-tested and very disease-free gentleman with what one girl recently called a “perfect” wang that needs attention.

Seriously. Basically, what I find is, I end up getting involved in things before I even know what the fuck I want to be doing. Instead of riding out those first two months, keeping my distance and getting to know — really know — a chick, I’m want to spend every waking moment with a chick and before I know it, I’m in an awkward spot.

What’s this got to do with DevilDriver’s tour dates? Well, when I think of DevilDriver, I think of Dez Fartfarter, a man who seems to me the type who’d be down to just fuck. Like me.

The tour will also feature Dying Fetus, The Faceless, Job For A Cowboy, 3 Inches of Blood and Impending Doom. Not sure what the thinking was, putting this tour together. Usually, the headliners like to put on weak ass shit before they come out, so they come across as all that better live. Not the case, here. These other bands, I would wager to say, are far superior musically.

Not that the typical DevilDriver fan’s that discerning, or will even give 3 Inches of Blood or Dying Fetus a chance.

The tour is called Metal Alliance and those dates follow, at the end of this post.

Metal Alliance tour dates:
3/15: Austin, TX @ SXSW / Scoot Inn
3/16: New Orleans, LA @ The Hangar
3/17: St Petersburg, FL @ State Theater
3/18: Charlotte, NC @ Amos’ Southend
3/20: Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
3/21: New York, NY @ Gramercy Theater
3/22: Danvers, MA @ Palace Ballroom
3/23: Montreal, QC @ Club Soda
3/24: Toronto, ON @ Opera House
3/25: Columbus, OH @ Alrosa Villa
3/26: Joliet, IL @ Mojoe’s
3/27: St Paul, MN @ Station 4
3/28: Winnipeg, MB @ Garrick Centre
3/29: Regina, SK @ Riddell Centre
3/30: Edmonton, AB @ Edmonton Events Centre
3/31: Vancouver, BC @ Rickshaw Theater
4/1: Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven
4/3: Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theater
4/5: Oakland, CA @ The Pound
4/6: Pomona, CA @ Fox Theater
4/7: Tempe, AZ @ Marquee Theater
4/9: Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall
4/10: Omaha, NE @ Sokol Auditorium
4/11: Des Moines, IA @ 7 Flags Event Center
4/13: Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theater
4/15: Lawrence, KS @ Granada Theater
4/16: Tulsa, OK @ Cain’s Ballroom
4/19: Dallas, TX @ House Of Blues
4/20: Austin, TX @ Emo’s East
4/21: Houston, TX @ House Of Blues

Home Entertainment DevilDriver, The Faceless, Dying Fetus: Official Tour Dates Released