Technology with attitude

A Pale Horse Named Death Get New Guitarist

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Bobby with some busted chick
Yesterday, probably the best gift I got for Christmas was one of those little remote control helicopters they sell in the mall — something I have wanted for years. But there’s a problem.

I think I broke it already. By the way, A Pale Horse Named Death — the band founded by Sal Abruscato of Type O Negative and Life of Agony fame — has undergone a personnel change. More on that in a minute.

The thing is, the dudes in the mall — who could literally pilot these mini-helicopters to fucking Afghanistan, if they wanted to — are so accustomed to using these helicopters in demonstrations that they make it look easy. They control them flawlessly, making them do tricks. It’s nuts.

I’ve seen these dudes at BJs, Costco, and the mall — usually a kiosk in the mall. These are big, wide open spaces. My apartment’s like a matchbox compared to the gargantuan size of the mall. These helicopter salesmen dudes have a lot of room to work with in the mall.

I live in a one bedroom apartment. Not sure how tall the ceilings are, but I’m guessing they’re ten to 12 feet. These helicopters take off so fucking fast — they just zip straight up into the air. I’m telling you, within one minute of using my helicopter, it crashed more than a dozen times — HARD. Like, if it were a real helicopter, there’d be no survivors.

Now, the fucking thing won’t turn. It just spins and spins and spins in place. I feel like it’s crashed so much, it’s been irrevocably fucked. So, my recommendation: Unless you dig things that only give you five minutes of actual fun, don’t get one of these things. Just don’t.

Back to A Pale Horse Named Death: They’ve released a statement.

“Due to conflicting schedules with Biohazard, Bobby Hambel is unable to tour any further with A Pale Horse Named Death. We wish Bobby and Biohazard all the great success they deserve on their upcoming release in January 2012. Eddie Heedles has been chosen as the new replacement for Bobby. Eddie is a shredding guitarist who has worked with the likes of Corey Glover, T.M. Stevens, Vernon Reid, Sekond Skyn and The White Chocolate Experience. We are excited to get back on the road and do what we do best see you soon.”