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Blood Red Throne Lose Frontman, Get New One

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I'd eat her blood red scone
Oh snap!

Norwegian death metal troupe Blood Red Throne have parted ways with vocalist Osvald “Vald” Egeland, replacing him with Yngve Bolt Christiansen of Goddamn.

This comes just weeks after bassist Erlend “Erl” Caspersen jumped ship, being replaced with Ole Bent Madsen of Horizon Ablaze.

Craziness. No statement was offered for the lineup shift.

Blood Red Throne released their sixth album, Brutalitarian Regime back in August.

You know, I hate playing “the game.” I’m a single male, looking for a lady who’ll marry me and then carry and push my spawn from her tearing nether regions.

The other day, I was at the mall for my day job, and I met this amazing woman. Gorgeous. Her eyes were electrifying and her breasts, supple and welcoming. Her skin looked like the kind you’d find depicted so finely in old paintings.

I gave her my number. She said she’d love to get coffee with me sometime. Three days later, no call from her.

I left the ball in her court, and I don’t know if she’s busy or just playing the game and waiting a determined number of days before contacting me, but I want her to call.

I need her to call. Come on, Olivia. Call my ass.