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The Osbournes Are In Mourning After Dog’s Death

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Rest in Peace, pup
There will be no jokes made in this post.

I consider people’s pets to be parts of their families, and if Ozzy Osbourne’s uncle died, I certainly wouldn’t make light of it.

Also, having had to put down my metal cat Dante in October, I know how hard it is to lose a pet.

Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter Kelly revealed on Twitter the other day that the family’s beloved chihuahua, Martin, died.

She wrote on Christmas Day: “Today is a sad day in the Osbourne family house hold we lost R dog martin of 14 years. Devastated does not quite sum it up! #NotSoMerryXmas.”

Nice hashtag. A bunch of kids I know who’re poor and didn’t get any presents this year were using the same hashtag. “No presents this year again…no tree, even. #NotSoMerryXmas.”

Martin was featured prominently on the Osbourne family’s reality TV show “The Osbournes” and was described by Ozzy’s wife/manager Sharon in the “pets” section of her personal web site as “a sophisticated little creature” who was “professionally known as Martini Bianco.”

Sharon also wrote, “Shunning the affection of women, Martin prefers the love of a good man.”

Ozzy had a gay dog? Righteous, man.

What can I say? It’s a slow news week.