Yes, it’s true.

As we told you days ago, Soulfly — who have been around a lot longer and boast people who have actually had some sort of viable, positive effect on the metal genre — will be opening this March and April for Five Finger Death Punch, who have been around for, like, two years and make music to get fucked up to while working out.

I don’t like music like that.

The tour dates follow. I just can’t believe Soulfly would do this. I get that they probably want to reach more fans, but who wants Five Finger Death Punch’s fans?

Most of them have masturbated whilst thinking of a family member. That’s a fact.

Five Finger Death Punch/Soulfly tour dates:
3/23: Las Vegas, NV – The Joint
3/24: Pomona, CA – The Fox Theater
3/26: Fresno, CA – Rainbow Ballroom
3/27: Modesto, CA – Modesto Centre Plaza
3/28: Redding, CA – Redding Convention Center
3/30: Yakima, WA – Yakima Valley Sun Dome
3/31: Seattle, WA – Paramount Theater
4/2: Dawson Creek, BC – EnCana Events Centre
4/4: Calgary, AB – MacEwan Hall
4/5: Edmonton, AB – Shaw Conference Center
4/7: Regina, SK – Agribition
4/9: Winnipeg, MB – Burton Cummings Theatre
4/11: Rapid City, SD – Rushmore Plaza Civic Center
4/12: Casper, WY – Casper Events Center

Entertainment Soulfly To Tour With Five Finger Death Punch