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Godsmack, Staind Tour Gets A Name: Mass Chaos Tour

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He's short
Really? That’s the best submission they received?

Oh, wait — I forgot. These are Godsmack fans we’re talking about. Not the sharpest tools in the shed. Just tools. Like anvils.

The “Mass Chaos Tour” will boast the alpuny Godsmack, Staind and Halestorm, which features a singer whose womb I would cover in baby sauce.

The “Mass Chaos Tour” kicks off April 13 in Augusta, Georgia, and winds down May 18 in beautiful Bangor, Maine. I love Maine. It’s such a chill state. I went there once, and I felt like everyone was stoned.

“We’re very excited to get back out with our Massachusetts brothers again,” says Godsmack singer Sully Erna, who is maybe 5 foot tall. “It’s been a pinch too long, and all hell is about to break loose!”

Here are those tour dates:
4/13: Augusta, GA @ James Brown Arena
4/15: Estero, FL @ Germain Arena
4/17: New Orleans, LA @ UNO Lakefront Arena
4/18: Lafayette, LA @ Cajundome
4/19: Bossier City, LA CenturyLink Center 99 X Fest
4/21: Lubbock, TX @ Lone Star Amphitheater
4/22: Belton, TX @ Bell County Expo Center
4/24: Beaumont, TX @ Ford Pavilion
4/25: Laredo, TX @ Laredo Energy Center
4/27: Phoenix, AZ @ Quail Run Park 98 KUPD UFEST
5/1: Corpus Christi, TX @ Concrete Street Amphitheater
5/2: San Antonio, TX @ Illusions Theater
5/4: Lexington, KY @ Rupp Arena
5/6: Evansville, IN @ Ford Center
5/9: Battle Creek, MI @ Kellogg Arena
5/11: Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena
5/12: Huntington, WV @ The Big Sandy Superstore Arena
5/15: Syracuse, NY @ Oncenter
5/16: Manchester, NH @ Verizon Wireless Arena
5/18: Bangor, ME @ [to be announced]