You know, this is hilarious. Hilarious. To me, touring with Asking Alexandria made perfect sense. Both bands are useless tripe, so I figured it was a match made in shitty heaven.

During a recent interview with Metal Insider, Trivium bassist Paolo Gregoletto defended the band’s decision to tour with Asking Alexandria, I See Stars, and Motionless In White.

“That was a really random tour offer,” Paolo starts. “When we got it, we were like ‘Alright… that’s different.’ It wasn’t something we were actually planning on doing, but we looked at it objectively and were like ‘Alright, we just did the Dream Theater tour,’ and that was a really outside the box tour. I’m sure a lot of people were saying the same thing, like ‘Oh, Trivium touring with Dream Theater? That’s kinda weird!’”

But the band did the Dream Theater tour, and “it was a totally different experience…The Dream Theater tour, to me it’s as far left as you can go, and as far right as you can go with Asking Alexandria, which is a heavy band but not in ‘this’ heavy world. Like that’s the Warped Tour heavy metal, and not saying that in a derogatory way at all. Literally there is another heavy scene that exists and parallels in some ways and in some ways so different.”

At this point, isn’t Trivium Warped Tour heavy metal? Let’s call a spade a spade here, folks. They have been trying to break into that market, as far as I’m concerned, and they’re there…they’ve done it. They are Warped Tour metal.

“Our whole thing was when we got the offer, what were we going to be doing in that time anyway? Originally, I think we were possibly going down to South America with some other bands, and that would have been amazing. But the focus of this album has been the U.S. and hitting it as hard as possible and from every angle.

“We were just like ‘You know what, we should do this. It’s going to be way different.’ A lot of people that are into our band might not like that we’re doing it, but to stay relevant and to keep new people coming into our music, we have to do tours like this. I am definitely looking forward to it because if it really is as many new kids as I’m hoping it is and kids that are that young, there very impressionable.”

And that’s the golden statement right there. They want to tap into the one audience that actually buys merch — teenagers. They want money. I don’t blame them, but…just be honest about it.

“If they’ve never heard us, we could be their gateway into this side of the heavy world. And that’s just the way I look at it. Either way, we’re playing the same music that we would be playing on these kind of tours. I knew a lot of kids would be at first shocked by it, but at the same time I know a lot of kids will come out and see and support us. It’s going to be a good time either way, and we have more touring that’s outside the box that we haven’t done. Like these radio festivals, we’ve never done this stuff!”

Wow. Just wow.

“And that’s another heavy world that’s separate from Warped Tour and Mayhem heavy metal. We’re doing Rocklahoma, Rock On The Range, we’re doing a bunch of shows with Five Finger Death Punch on off dates. I think we got a good ten or twelve festivals that we’ve never done. It’s a new world for us, like the acoustic thing. We’ve never experienced that, and I’m sure these festivals are going to be cool.”

Trivium are now cock rock/ Warped Tour metal. This dude may want to joke himself, thinking he’s still on “this side” of metal…they true, brutal, fuck off side of metal. But he’s not.

I guess this is why my lady calls my style of writing “Fuck You Journalism.”

Entertainment Trivium Bassist Defends Decision To Tour With Asking Alexandria