Slayer are willing to sell you anything.
Don’t be surprised. Dudes gotta retire at some point, and there are probably medical considerations (and bills, probably) to consider (and pay).
So far, Slayer have tried to sell us rings and candy and jimmy caps.
Now, there’s a Slayer woven tapestry blanket for you suckers to spend your hard-earned dough on. And some new Slayer socks.
I feel like Slayer need to stop. Like, soon. Because really, what’s next? Will Tom Araya get his own reality show on Bravo? Are Slayer coffins imminent?
The transformation has begun. Slayer are slowly turning into Kiss as they get older, and quite frankly, Kiss are beyond shameless.
I’ve gotta ask Slayer — is that how you want people to remember you, as shameless, money-grubbing old dudes trying to cash in like Walter White pushing that crank?
I’m holding out for the Slayer Snuggie.