Technology with attitude

Slut Who Likes Motorhead Trying To Find Father Of Her Toilet Stall Baby

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She's probably down for stall sex
By now, you’ve likely read all about the Craigslist ad from the whore in Chicago who got knocked up by some slutty dude she met in the pit at a Motorhead and Megadeth show.

If not, I hope that coma was fucking refreshing — welcome back.

I chose not to write about this the other day because…well, what’s there to say? But some of you sent me emails asking me for my take on this seemingly hilarious story, and whether I had seen the ad (which has since been flagged for removal), so here it goes.

Here is the ad, titled “Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? – w4m – 28 (Aragon Ballroom):”

Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.


You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.

I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got fucked up. You had a nice cock and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. 

You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise. Anyway I’m pregnant. It’s yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child’s life.

Me? I don’t buy it. I don’t believe this shit for a second, and in fact, I think another Web site may have just posted this online to stir up some hits. A total fabrication; I could have done it, for all you know. I think it’s bullshit, and just gives metal a bad image, as this story’s getting traction all over the place.

That said, if it is true, why the fuck doesn’t shit like this happen to me? Why was I never around when the sluts were in heat in the pit? In my day, the closest I got to fucking a chick at a show was when some seven-foot tall, totally-sweaty topless dude’s stank mantits rubbed up against my cheek.

That said, who the fuck does something like this? I understand that basically any GUY would do this, but what kind of a broad does this? I don’t get it. I didn’t think chicks were actually capable of being this whorish, but then again, who’s to say what was happening in this chick’s life when she made the decision to let a dude drop his alabama mudslide in her yammie.

That said, who goes on Craigslist to find the father of their fucking unborn fucking child, and actually expects they’ll get a response? Who? Are we that immune to our lives being just out there, online, that it’s almost acceptable to do such a crazy thing? This is what I think about before I sleep at night, kids.

That said, if this did go down, the broad must not have been a real catch, looks-wise. I mean, she was slutty enough to fuck some dude at a show, and now months later, hasn’t touched a dick since? She must be a butter-face. The dude at the show who deposited his load must have been sloshed, and didn’t get a good look at her in the dim light of the Motorhead show.

That said, I blame Lemmy Kilmister. That man just inspires sex and bad decisions.

If this is true, I feel bad for the kid. His mom’s a fucking slut and he will never know his father. If I were mohawk dude, I wouldn’t go to shows at the Aragon anymore.