Since the tour dates were announced for Lamb of God’s upcoming tour with Dethklok and Gojira, I guess Randy Blythe has been catching shit from fans who live in cities and towns the tour is passing over.
As he’s want to do, Blythe took to Twitter to spout off.
“To all the people yelling, whining, & bitching at ME for our tour not coming to yer town & asking ‘Why not?’ — I DON’T KNOW WHY NOT. I DO NOT BOOK OUR TOURS,” Randy writes.
“There’s a guy you HAVE to hire when you reach a certain level — he’s called a BOOKING AGENT. He routes the tour, he deals with promoters, he gets the tour package the best offers he can for the tour. I have neither the time, the inclination, the innate skill for dealing with this shit, nor do I have the contacts or resources.
“We as [a] band do not sit around, look at a proposed tour routing check the dates, & then say: ‘Kalamazoo MI?!?!? FUCK THAT! Tell ‘em we ain’t coming to their town! NO WAY — fuck those guys!’ We agree to a tour, the length we are willing to be away from home (because we got, like families & stuff, ya know? Like any other type of folks), THEN THE BOOKING AGENT & MANAGEMENT handle the rest. I haven’t booked a show since the van days of Burn the Priest.
“I booked a lot of our shows through people I knew in the punk/hc scene — they were house shows, etc. The other guys booked shows too — we booked our own tours. But I can’t do that now. Don’t have contacts at the level required, & also I HAVE ZERO DESIRE TO BE A BOOKING AGENT.
“If I booked a tour now, it would look like this: 30 days, 15 shows. Probably all in The South. Day off every other day to go skateboarding, fishing, & book shopping.
“Venues would be crusty punk basements. BYOB. No merch because fuck it, I don’t feel like dealing with it. No fucking autograph signings, only skateboard sessions. Massive amounts of coffee on the rider — that’s it. No cell phones allowed at show, not because I am worried about my picture being taken, but because you need to be watching the band not yer fucking 2 inch screen. Free food at every show.
“Fighting is not only allowed, it’s encouraged. Bail bondsman business cards will be issued at door. Smoking allowed inside, except fucking weed cuz that shit stinks to me. Smoke it outside. LOG’s set will be 45 mins, and not one second over, because I hate watching most bands for more than that. I will not ask the audience if they are ‘having a good time,’ I will instead throw handfuls of M80s at anyone who looks like they are bored.
“That’s my tour. That’s how I would do it. We would be broke, probably drunk & an drugs, injured, & lost. Wow- sounds like BTP days…”