Ozzy Osbourne’s son Jack Osbourne has done what all celebrities at the height of their fucking game: He’s signed on for sequins and sambas on ABC’s erroneously-named show “Dancing With The Stars.”
Stars? Falling and fallen stars, maybe. But stars? That show has been ill-named since it’s conception. Fuck, man. They offered it to Howard Stern’s wife. And she had the good sense to turn it down.
Now, Ozzy on that show…that, I’d fucking watch. But the entitled product of Ozzy’s sperm? No thanks.
The show’s latest lineup was announced this morning on “Good Morning America,” a show I don’t watch. Good looking out to LiLi for this bit of Jack news. I love that he didn’t get paired up with one of the show’s hot dancers. He got the old chick.
The only reason I would watch this travesty is to watch Jack fail. Because you know he will.
By the way, fap-happy readers take note: Elizabeth Berkley from “Showgirls” and hottie singer Christina Milian (pictured). Leah Remini ain’t bad either. She’s a MILF. Other bonus: She left the Church of Scientology. Came to her sense and fucking peaced out.
I’d let all three of them catch my herpes.