Tree of Life by Mark Ryden

Ice-T and his ridiculously bulbous wife
Ice-T and his ridiculously bulbous wife
Ice motherfuckin’ T and his band, motherfuckin’ Body Count, are in a studio as you read these words.

What are Body Count doing, exactly? Making meth. They rented the studio as a cover for their meth-cooking operation.

I kid. They’re making music — music that will appear on the band’s forthcoming new album.

In case you missed it, Body Count signed a deal not that long ago with Sumerian Records.

I think the signing was done for tax purposes. They’ll write off the cost associated with the album, once it tanks.

The new Body Count album will be called Manslaughter, appropriately.

“Just finished the 1st night of VOCAL recording for the NEW Bodycount album…,” says T, whose wife I see on the West Side all the time. Her booty is a thing of beauty. I once dated a girl with an ass that big. And let me tell you — you’ve gotta be comfortable with your size to bang a chick like that doggie style.

That ass is so big, it makes your donger look smaller. So you really have to have confidence in your cock to go there — from a visual standpoint, anyways.

“It feels good,” says the “Law & Order: SVU” star. “YOU’RE NOT READY!”

I admit it. I’m not.

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